September 2010 (Originally published in The Cooperstown Crier)
India. A world apart. A place where the streets are always dirty, the air is usually humid and polluted, and there are hundreds of people everywhere you are. A place where the temples are stunning, the food is to die for, and the clothing is some of the most beautiful in the world. A place where I have chosen to spend ten months on a cultural exchange.
I am halfway across the world with IYE (International Youth Exchange), a program of Rotary International. It is the opportunity of a lifetime. I get to spend almost a year living with three normal Indian families while acting as an ambassador for my country, learn a new culture and languages (Gujarati and Hindi), and have a fabulous time.
So on July 16, I boarded the plane that would take me to my new home. I have been living in Bharuch, Gujarat for two months, and already my life has changed. I have learned new things, gained new perspectives, met more family members than I will ever remember, and begun to find in myself the motivation to work towards my own goals. It does not come without sacrifice. I have been very sick. I throw up one day, my entire body aches another. Then they give me medicine and I force a smile and life goes on. But the lessons I have learned and will learn are important to share. So month by month, I will relate the stories and morals of my fabulous experience in India. Enjoy!
The first thing I learned in India is to look both ways before I cross the street. You never know how many motorcycles, scooters, rickshaws, cars and cows are just waiting to run you over. It’s not like they want to kill you, but the streets in India are so crowded and generally disorganized that it is almost impossible to predict even the next few seconds. One minute you are riding comfortably in the car, and the next you find yourself practically slammed against the seat in front (no seatbelts) because someone on a motorcycle has decided to switch lanes without so much as a backward glance. It is somewhat exhilarating and very dangerous.
I have found that this rule applies to life as well. Life is generally exhilarating and at many times dangerous, but this does not mean that you shouldn’t live it. It only means that you have to assess all the information before you make a decision. India is teaching me to look both ways, and weigh both options so that I can make the right decision. Whether it is between foods or evening pastimes, everything is a choice, especially for an exchange student. And when it comes to crossing the street, I am learning to choose the path which will give me opportunity, take me deeper into the culture, into the religion, and into the people. It is always the right choice to visit the temple, to go to school, to try a few Gujarati words, to include your family, to work hard. It is always the right choice to just try. So look both ways. The path will be clear.
I am in a position where I must learn everything about India and teach as much as I can about America to my hosts in less than a year. So I am always asking questions and listening and talking and talking and talking. They love to hear me talk. They don’t understand my habits and customs because in some cases they are very different, but they make an effort to learn. Everyone is happiest when: 1) I greet them with the words “Jay Shri Krishna,” 2) I try out my new vocabulary from Hindi class during dinner, 3) I am in a good mood, 4) I try all the food on the table, 5) I show promise in the kitchen, and 6) I wear a traditional Indian garment in front of the extended family. So a whole lot of happiness rests on my shoulders, and I try to deliver.
Nevertheless, it is very difficult. There are many differences in daily life. The climate is very different. It is generally above 33 degrees Celsius outside and 30 inside. During monsoon season there is unbearable humidity and lots of mud. Air conditioners are always turned on at night, and there are ceiling fans in every room. And then there is the treatment towards women and youth. Married women, especially in a conservative state such as Gujarat, are generally not allowed to wear western clothing or show their legs. They have limited freedom, and in many households are not allowed to hold jobs. Teenagers are not allowed to date, and if a girl is seen alone with a boy by someone she knows, her parents are notified. The main accepted pastime for a school student is to constantly study, and many teenagers are not allowed any freedom. This is one of the most difficult changes because eighteen year-olds are no longer minors in the United States, yet in India are under constant supervision.
But if these differences are not what I came to learn, then I don’t know what are. I am having difficulty and working through it. I am learning to please people I don’t know in a language I’m just learning. I am starting to oil my hair so it doesn’t dry out in the hot Indian sun and make friends with everyone I meet. I am wearing kurtis and chaniya cholis and sarees and eating more roti than I ever knew existed and falling in love with a country and a people. This is what comes from being not a tourist, but a resident. Acceptance. Change. Joy. The pieces of my new home.